Tag Archives: fiction

I HAVE A NOVEL IN MY MIND

    

     I recently read an article that talked about writing being work and I have to agree one-hundred percent.  If you think writing a novel is easy then I would think you haven’t written a novel then had to rewrite it and then rewrite it again.  Writing is not a hobby or play.  It is a job just like any other career.  If you want to be successful you must take it seriously.  I must confess that I have not taken it as sincerely as I should.  I have been just plain lazy and I have no excuses that are acceptable.

     So you say “I have this great novel in my mind if I could just find time to put it on paper.”  Well, so do I and probably over a thousand others.  I know one thing for certain; as long as it stays in your mind it will never become a bestseller.  We will never “just find time” we must make time.  Remember we all get the same amount of hours in a day the difference is what we do with those hours.  How do we manage our time and why can’t we find time to write.  I can’t speak for you that is something you will have to do some soul-searching and answer for yourself.

     First, I believe that God should always come first in our life.  He should have the first and best part of our day.  Then we schedule other activities.

     I can find all kinds of endeavors to do instead of writing.  I say I love to write but now I must search myself and see if that is true.  If it is true then why don’t I make more time for it? 

  • One reason could be fear of being rejected.  If I don’t finish the novel it won’t be turned down.
  • Fear of being ridiculed; if this has ever happened to you about something you wrote whether as a child or adult then that fear is real.  You never want to subject yourself to it again.
  • Fear of not being the best.  Not everyone can be perfect and there are a lot of novels out there that lack perfection.
  • Fear of failure.  You tried writing before and your manuscripts were not accepted by a publisher.  Well you finished it didn’t you?  So you aren’t failing maybe you just need to try a different hook.
  • Pure honest to goodness laziness.  I really don’t believe this applies to many or any of us.  There is always an underlying reason for our lack of production.

            If we really and truly want to write we simply must sit down and put words on paper and forget all the other bunk.  So what if others laugh?  They ridiculed Noah and look what he did (we’re still talking about it today.)  If you must have perfection then keep writing until you achieve it.  If your fear is failure well so long as you are putting words on paper you are not failing. There are as many reasons for not writing as there are people who want to write.  Each of us must decide which apply to us and do our best to overcome whatever it is.  No one can or will do this for us it is up to us to write or not to write.  The road to being an author is not an easy one.  We hit some huge bumps along the way but we must persevere and overcome those obstacles.

     Thanks for stopping by, until next time keep writing and before you know it that novel you had in your mind will be a completed manuscript on paper.

 God bless.

 

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WRITE BY FAITH

     How many times have you heard someone say “I could write a book?”  The truth is they probably could however, in all probability they never will.  We all have a story or many stories we would like to tell.  Nevertheless, what we think would make a great book others aren’t interested in at all.  What we do and what happens in out life doesn’t matter a hill-of-beans to the general population.  But writers on the other hand will write even if another living soul never reads a word of what we’ve written.  We have a drive; call it a burning desire, to tell the stories that are bubbling in our souls.  And how do we write?   By faith!  And we become successful by faith.  We all have faith no matter what it is in.  My faith is in God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.  I know my talent comes from God.

     If you are a Christian you have faith that you are saved.  If someone asked you where you will spend eternity you would quickly say “Heaven.”  Why?  Because, you have faith in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  I think you will agree that salvation is the biggest and most important thing in our lives.  And we trust God’s Word when He said “Trust in Jesus and you will be saved.”  We know that God doesn’t lie.  So let me ask you this?  If you trust God for the big thing, your salvation, what don’t you trust Him for the little and every day things?  The Bible tells us that God will supply what we need.  (Matthew 6:25-34)  It tells us that God knows what we need and He has already taken care of it.  There are so many verses in the Bible that talks about us having faith.  So we know that is important to God.  We have not because we ask not. James 4:2

     You might ask what that has to do with being a successful author.  Everything! If we are to be truly successful we must trust God for our success.  And we must trust when we ask that we have received it.  No, not that we will receive it but that it is already ours.  Dr. Charles Stanley put it this way; small faith says God might, big faith says He will but strong faith says He has.  No, God is not some Santa Claus waiting to grant our wishes.  He’s more than that!  He’s a loving, kind, understanding Father Who loves His children and wants to give them the best.  He already gave us His Best, Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ so why would we hesitate to ask for our daily needs.

     You want to be a successful writer?  When you sit down to work before you put one word on paper you bow your head and ask God to write through you what He wants you to say.  You might say, “Oh but I write Romance Novels, or Suspense or whatever.”  Do you thing God doesn’t know romance?  He created it.  Turn in your Bible to Ruth 2 and read the story of Ruth and Boaz.  You want suspense? How about the stories of Daniel, Joseph, Noah, and so many others?  Remember God created all things even romance and suspense.  Does this mean you will be an overnight success?  No.  God will never give you what you are not equipped to handle whether trials or riches.  But it does mean that when you trust God you will write what He wants you to write.  And I can tell you that He will give you stories and you won’t get writer’s block.  Oh yes, you can still be lazy and not sit down and write or make all kinds of excuses.  Proverbs 6: 9-11 How long will you lie there, you sluggard?    When will you get up from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest—and poverty will come on you like a thief and scarcity like an armed man.  But if God has given you the talent and desire to write He will write through you if you are willing to do your part.  You will never lack a store house of story ideas.  And a good measure is; after each writing session thank Him for sitting and writing with you.  You will be so surprised how easy your writing goes. 

     Remember God has to come first in your life.   Matthew 6:33 seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

     Thanks for stopping by until next time keep the faith and keep writing.

ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY YEARS

         One of the things I’ve come across in my writing career is the impatience of other people; usually our loved ones (spouse, children, siblings.)  Often when we talk to them they want to know if we are still writing, where we are in the process and how much longer do we think it will take us.  This is unnecessary pressure.  It can bring our creative juices to a quick halt, or I know it can mine.  The one thing an author doesn’t need is more pressure.  However, these well-meaning souls usually have no idea what we go through.  They think we sit down at the computer and the words just flow from our fingers. Oh, if it was that easy, right?  They have no idea how we struggle to show and not tell a scene, to listen to our characters and speak through their voices not our own and so on and so on… Some have even asked “Why don’t you get a real job?”  Writing isn’t a real job?  Hello!

     When I want to tell them to back off I have to think of Noah.  Can you imagine the pressure he went through when he was building the Ark?   I’m sure that his family, like ours, wanted to know when he would finish and what he was really working on.  Maybe they accused him of wasting time.  We might take a year or so to write a novel, probably less once we get rolling, but it took him 120 years to build the ark!  To put up with people ridiculing you for 120 years had to take some strength.  Yes, of course I know that God gives us the strength to do whatever He asks us to do but that doesn’t shield us from the people who are just looking for and hoping we will fail.  Yes, He also gives us the strength and knowledge to deal with them in a way that He approves.

     Now I know that I’m no Noah but I do believe my love for writing and my God-given talent is for writing, so I have to believe that God will give me the strength to persevere and finish the novels I have started.  I need to “Trust in God with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5)  This means I have to turn my writing career over to Him.  I really do try to do this.  One thing I have found that helps me is to say a prayer before my writing sessions to ask Him to write the story through me and after the session to thank Him for His help.

     Maybe you aren’t a believer in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, if not praying won’t help you with your career.  But it is so easy to become a child of God. All it takes is faith alone in our Lord Jesus Christ alone.  Remember God knows your heart so all you have to do is tell Him you do believe that Jesus came to earth and died as a substitute for our sins.  Sounds easy?  It is.  

     I know God gives each of us a talent to make our living but He leaves it up to us to find that talent and develop it and become successful.  God takes good care of His children but He will never give us more than we are capable of dealing with whether troubles or blessings.

     Thanks for stopping by.  Until next time keep praying and asking God what He wants you to write and keep believing.  Remember what He did for the people during Biblical times He will do for us today if we believe.  Oh the stories that I could share but I’ll save them for another time.

God bless.

I RECOMMEND

   

 Recently our son gave us a book “A Land Remembered” by Patrick Smith.  I know he has excellent taste in books so I was eager to read it.  Well let me tell you he was right on the money again with this novel.

     In “A Land Remembered” Patrick Smith makes the history of Florida come alive.  He shows the story so well that you are there experiencing the cattle drives and the hard times and good with the MacIvey family.  It grabs you in the first couple of pages and keeps its grip to the end.  Wow, what a story-teller.  Once you read this novel you will look at Florida with a different perspective as you drive through the state.  While I think it is well written and a great novel I believe that every Floridian should read it.  I hear that some schools in the state have included a revised edition in their required reading list.

     I usually don’t read anything historical or any where close to it but I tell you when you read “A Land Remembered” you don’t feel like you are reading history.

     Thanks for stopping by. Until next time, get the book even if you check it out of your local library.  I know you won’t be sorry.  If you have any novels you fell in love with and would like to recommend I read please feel free to tell me in a comment.

God Bless.

FAITH IN YOUR TALENT AS A WRITER

     A career in writing can be a very lonely job.  However, it can be equally exciting; we get to see our characters grow and develop their personalities.  We get to travel places that we might only get to go in our imagination.  Being an author can also bring along fear and doubt.  We get rejections on top of rejections while we see others who don’t write as well or are at least equal with us.  We wonder “What am I doing wrong?”  The truth might be that the problem is not in your writing at all. 

     We can’t doubt and have faith all at the same time.  It is impossible!  We either have faith that God gave us our talent and we will be successful in His time or we doubt that He will do what He said He will do.  If we doubt, in essence we are calling God a liar.  He either keeps His promises or He doesn’t.  And I for one know He doesn’t lie.

     We just need to have patience and wait for His time.  Sometimes it might take days, weeks or even years but when the time is right we will see God working to answer our prayers.  This has happened to me so many times.  I once prayed for a house in a certain area.  Well we moved into an apartment and it was nice so I quit praying for the house.  A couple of years later we bought a house in the area I had prayed about.  I didn’t think about my prayer until one day I was backing out of our drive and thanking God for our home when His Spirit spoke to mine and said, “You asked for a home in this area.”  Let me tell you it floored me!!  I stopped right there and said, “Yes Lord I did, please forgive me for not thanking you sooner.”  The house was what I had prayed about a couple of years before!!  God is so good all the time.

     So talk to God and if He has given you the talent to be a writer don’t doubt your success.  It will come in God’s time.  It will be the success He has planned especially for you and you will be happy.  So now instead of worry have peace in your soul and know that God is in charge.  He is working behind the scenes when we don’t see His hand in what we are doing.  Go on and in your mind see your book on the best sellers list, see yourself doing huge book signings and start now thanking God for your success.  Is this mind over matter?  I don’t think so. Remember Isaiah 41:10 ‘Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’  That is a promise from God!  So we don’t need to look around at other authors and see them getting published and wonder why we aren’t.  We don’t need to worry if an agent will accept us or not. 2 Timothy 7 tells us; (For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline.)  All we need to do is keep writing and trusting God.  It sounds so easy but let me tell you that you will have times of doubt.  Satan will try to whisper in your ear that you are a fool and shouldn’t believe that God is in charge but don’t you believe him.  You just keep praying and asking God what He wants you to do next and trust Him for a successful outcome.

     Thanks for stopping by and until next time keep writing and keep trusting God and believe that you are a success because God doesn’t lie.

BUILD YOUR WORD REPERTOIRE

     Recently my 67-year-old sister-in-law shocked her oldest daughter by telling her that she liked RAP music (for lack of a better word though it hardly qualifies as music.)  We all got a good laugh out of that because we’re almost sure she doesn’t even know what RAP is. Or she might really shock us by knowing what it is.  But it is highly doubtful.  This is a woman who does not use swear words nor does she want them said around her.  She is a true Southern Lady.

     I thought about it and I decided I might like some RAP if they didn’t cuss so much.  As I was growing up, and trust me that was many moons ago, we were taught that a person uses cuss words because they have a limited vocabulary.  So the author of RAP just like any other writer should strive to develop a repertoire of words even though they might never use them in any of their work.  We know that as writers we should tell the story (or song) in the most precise terms.  A reader or listener does not want to struggle through fifty dollar words when ten-cent words will get the point across.

     There are a number of ways to build our collection of words; Scrabble, learning a new word every day, reading and so on and on.  I prefer the reading method.  I like having the knowledge when and if I ever need it but like every one else I attempt to make my manuscripts an easy, enjoyable read.  Our readers want to be entertained not impressed by our large vocabularies but on the other hand I feel they don’t want every other word to be a cuss word.

     Will I listen to RAP?  I have in the past when my sons and I were sharing a car.  I didn’t really like it then but I did enjoy sharing the moment with which ever son was driving me to and from work that particular day.  They were also kind enough to listen to my Country Music on rare, very rare, occasions.  Today if you get in my car and turn on the CD player you will probably hear something like “The Wheels on The Bus Go Round and Round.”  Why?  Because that is the kind of music my two-year old grandson enjoys and we are sharing moments and building happy memories.

     I like most music but not all of any genre. Music is part of life and wouldn’t the world be colorless without it?

     Thanks for stopping by.  Until next time settle back in a comfort chair and listen to RAP… or not.   God bless.

DOUBTING MY WRITING SKILLS

    

Do you ever doubt your writing skills?  You know you are a writer maybe you’ve even have published books to prove it.  But you sit down at the computer and you think, “I can’t do this.  I can’t get my thoughts to come out the way I want them to.”  And a small internal voice whispers, “Of course you can’t.  Who are you trying to fool?  You can’t write and even if you put words on the paper no one will want to read them.”  Then you hear.  “Writing is a hard world to break into.  You have to know somebody who knows somebody to even get your big toe in the door.  You might as well give it up.”  And you think “Who do I know?”  And you come up with “On one.”

     But you are wrong!  If you are a Christian you know God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit and they are bigger than anything, even the publishing business.  If God has given you the talent to write He will open the doors that He wants open for you.  We don’t need to worry about which doors will get open and how they get open.  That is not our job!  Our job is to write and keep writing.  We know God gave us the talent so we have to trust Him to guide us where we should be. 

     In James 1; 1 – 8 James tells us to trust God and not be double minded.  If we know God gave us our writing talent then we can trust Him to show us how to succeed.

     We must practice our faith in our every day lives.  When a problem arises we should think of God immediately.  Once we have talked to Him we know He has worked the situation out for our benefit. (Romans 8: 28)  When we ask we must have faith that it is done.  Jesus was the perfect example to this.  He would get alone to talk to God and we read where He knew what to do and say.  Jesus didn’t doubt God because He knew God was and is bigger and more powerful than anything this world can throw at us.  We too must know this.  We are God’s children and He works all things for our good.  So when we go to our Father we should go knowing whatever we ask will be done.

     Satan wants us to be full of doubts and fail.  He wants to destroy us.  If we are destroyed and fail what glory does that bring God?  But on the other hand God wants us to succeed and be prosperous.  I fully believe He would not have given us the desire to write if He didn’t want us to be authors.

     A good practice is when you sit down to write, first bow your head and ask God to guide you; ask Him to write the story through you.  Then start writing and leave the consequences to Him.  You will have more confidence in yourself and the work you produce.

     Thanks for stopping by.  Until next time keep writing but more important keep believing and praying and remember God is greater.  God bless.

WE LIVE AND DIE BY THE DECISIONS WE MAKE

    

  At an early age I learned that we all live and die by our decisions.  Once we are old enough to know right from wrong then we are responsible for our own decisions.  Oh yes, it’s true of me and it might be true of you, that God has control of my life.  He surely does.  However, He allows us to make our own decisions.

     Take my first novel for example; when I got the offer from its publisher deep down I felt that I should not go with them.  But I was so excited to see it in print that I pushed aside the feeling.  And I fully believe it was the Holy Spirit guiding me but I squelched His warning.  Thessalonians 5:19 tells us to not quench (squelch) the Holy Spirit.  In other words we are to listen to Him and not push His teaching and guidance aside; which I did.  So God allowed me to make my decision and of course I didn’t make as much as I would have had I waited for God.  But it was solely my decision and I must live with it.

     If you are having trouble in a relationship you might want to blame the other person.  But the thing to do is stop, look at the situation and see if it isn’t because of some decision you are making or have made in the past.  The reason might have been getting involved with that person in the first place.  If you can’t see it just ask God to show you and He will.  I know He has helped me so much in my life.  And remember you will never, ever be able to change another person.  The only person you can change is yourself.  None of us are perfect but we can work to shape our lives with Jesus for the pattern.

     I can’t blame God because I have not finished my new novel “Tomorrow’s Memories.”  I’ve been very lazy and procrastinated way too much.  A habit I must try hard to get rid of.  God tells us that we shouldn’t be lazy (a sluggard) that we should look at how hard the ant works and do the same. (Proverbs 6: 6-8 & Proverbs 10: 4&5.)  If we are lacking (whether wealth or satisfaction) because we procrastinated and are lazy we can not blame God. Yes He provides what we need but He also told Adam that he would earn his living by the sweat of his brow (Genesis 3:10.)  I don’t know where you could find it in the Bible or if it is even in the Bible but as I’ve said before, I believe God gives each of us a talent and He leaves it up to us to find that talent, fine tune it and make our living.  If we make the decision to ignore the talent then we face the consequences.  But it is our decision.  He gave us the tools and we can choose to use them or let them lay dormant.  If you watch nature you will see that even the animals and birds search for their food.  God provides it but they must find it.   Should we expect anything more?

     I promise myself that I will quit procrastinating and put in so many hours a day on “Tomorrow’s Memories” at least five days a week.  I must because there are so many other novels in me that I need to get out.  When I retired I told myself that I would write more; that I would treat my writing as a regular job where I had to show up so many hours a day.  I lied to myself and I haven’t done that but I fully intend to correct that error (or lie whichever you prefer.)

     Thanks for stopping by.  Until next time keep writing and watch what decisions you make.  God bless.

Does Success Make Us Care Less

 

      I believe that God gives each and every one of us a talent with which we can be successful and make a wonderful living.  However, He left it up to us to discover what that talent is and to fine tune it to the point of success. 

     Having said that, I believe that Danielle Steel’s talent is her writing of romance novels.  The woman is awesome, most of the time.  Yes, you did catch that, most of the time.  At the present I am reading her novel “44 Charles Street” which was released in 2011.  It is a total disappointment.  This would be a GREAT novel if instead of telling the story she showed the story.  Isn’t that what we learned in writing class, to show our story?  This novel seems to be written by an amateur.  I kid you not.  Thank God I borrowed it from the library and didn’t spend good money for it.  If you haven’t read it please, don’t waste your time.

     I asked myself as I’m reading, and oh yes I will finish it, that’s just a fetish of mine I finish what I start, is someone else writing under her name?  I know that some great novelist have done that and I guess it is all right if the writer understands he/she will get no credit for the hard work.  And yes, while writing a novel is fun it is also very hard mental work.  I know because I’ve published two, not in Danielle’s league but still published.

     Do we get so successful that we no longer care about the quality of work that is going out with our name on it?  I certainly hope not.  Maybe when I reach that stage I’ll feel differently but for now I’ll carefully critique my work and I will still make mistakes but they will be my mistakes.

     Okay, I got that off my chest.  Thanks for stopping by and until next time God bless, keep writing and enjoy life.

A Mother’s Love

   

They walk out of the free clinic hand in one.  One glance at his face tells her that he is just as afraid as she is.   Neither of them say a word.  They simply hold hands and walk a half block then plop down on the bench to wait for the city bus.

     They had just heard the news that should make them happy but instead they are scared out of their minds.  She wants to blame him.  He said this could not happen that he knew what to do; he would be careful.  But it had happened and she had known for almost three months but would not admit it even to herself.  Sometimes she hoped that something else was wrong; maybe she had cancer.  Then she would scold herself for such an idea.  She had refused to say the words. 

     But the doctor had said them. “Congratulations you’re going to be a mother.”

     How could that be?  She had just turned fifteen four months ago and she had so many dreams; so many things she wanted to accomplish.  She wanted to go to college and get out of the desolate community where she had been all her life.

     He turned to her and said the unspeakable word that she has let run across her own mind more times than she cares to admit.  “Abortion, that’s the answer.  That’s what we’ll do.  I’ll use some of the money I’ve saved for college and…”

     She shakes her head vigorously and her hand covers her belly in an automatic protective motion.  She already has a mother’s instinct.  “Never,” she says surprised that her voice comes out in a harsh whisper when her mind is screaming.  “That’s murder; a sin!  Sin’s what got us in this mess to begin with.”

     He starts to deny it but she holds up her hand and stops his flow of words.  “Yes it is.  We both knew it was a sin to have sex outside of marriage.  The pastor said so and you were sitting right there beside me and heard him the same as I did.”

     He is silent again and keeps glancing down the road; hoping the bus will hurry and come.  He wants to get as far away from that clinic as he can.  But he can’t escape the doctor’s words that keep screaming in his head.

     She sees the big blue and gray bus two blocks away when he finally takes her other hand and turns her so they are face to face.  “Okay… okay we’ll get married.”

     That’s what she wanted to hear.  That’s what she has hoped for weeks he would say.  But when she looked in his eyes she doesn’t see the undying love forever he had promised.  Instead she sees fear and doubt and underneath it all a shadow of dread and disappointment.

     He sees his dreams of college and a better life fly away.  He’s worked hard all through high school to keep his grades up hoping to qualify for an academic scholarship.  Just in case he did not get one he has worked every vacation, weekend and holiday and saved every penny.  Now when he is only a few months from graduation his dream is being jerked away.

     She can’t do it!  She can’t destroy him.

     “No.”  She shakes her head just as the bus squeals to a stop and the door glides open.  “I don’t want to marry you. Stay here I don’t want you with me.”  She drops his hand and stands up.  She walks to the bus then says over her shoulder as she climbs the steps.  “I don’t love you.  I never did.”  She hates the pain that flashes across his face.  More lies she thinks as she hands the driver her school identification which allows her to ride the bus for free.  Tears stream unchecked down her cheeks as she stumbles down the aisle and finds a seat.

     The driver cusses under his breath.  He’s had this same route for over fifteen years and has picked up way too many young girls from this stop who have the same look on their face as his new passenger.

     That night over spaghetti with watered down sauce with no meat she starts to cry.  Her mother gave birth to her when she was only sixteen.  She has worked two jobs as a maid for as long as the girl can remember but there is still never enough money for the bills and necessities.  Is this all she has to offer her baby?  A life time of need, uncertainty and doing without.

     Then she remembers the brochures the doctor had given her.  She had crammed them in her battered purse without even a glance.  Now she leaves the table and goes to the bedroom she shares with her mother.  They have always had a one bedroom apartment.  She retrieves the papers and sat on the bed as she reads them.  The first two talk about abortion so she tosses them in the trash as though they are too hot to touch.  The other one is about adoption.  She reads it twice.  Then falls to her knees and prays, crying out to God to show her if adoption is the answer.  Should she?  Could she give her baby to strangers?

     When she told her mother what was going on they cried together.  Then they agreed adoption was the best thing to do.  Rich couples who had everything this world had to offer except being able to conceive a child were willing to pay all her bills if she gave her baby to them.

     She was sure she had found the solution when she, her mother and the boy met the prospective parents.  They seemed like very nice people and assured her they would give the baby their very best.

     And then the baby started to move.  

     Her love grew as the tiny body formed and grew just below her heart.  She knew she had to give it away but she wished the day would never come.

     No matter how hard she wished her water broke and labor pains ripped her apart.  As agreed the adoptive parents were in the delivery room.  They tried to hide it but she saw the joy on their faces when the doctor held up her tiny son and his healthy cries ricocheted around the room.   When the nurse placed him in her arms her heart was filled with so much love and joy mixed with grief she felt it would burst.  For a minute she could not breathe.

     The adoptive parents vowed their love for him but how could they possibly love him as much as she did?  They had not held him all these months sleeping against their heart or felt him kick so hard she was certain he had caused her internal injuries.

     The attorneys said she had forty-eight hours in which she could change her mind.  She knew she wouldn’t; knew she couldn’t.  She loved him too much to condemn him to a life of poverty.  She would use the time to tell him how much she loved him.  She held him all night pouring out her heart to him even though she knew he would not understand and would never remember.  But she hoped that somewhere deep inside he would somehow know she cared. She counted his perfect pink toes and kissed each tiny finger.  Taking deep breaths she sucked in his smell so she would never forget.  The fuzz that covered his head tickled her cheek as she snuggled with him.

     The hour came way too soon.  She was allowed to dress him in the soft one-piece pajamas covered with pale yellow ducklings.  Her fingers trembled as she pulled up the zipper.  She kept glancing at the papers their lawyer had placed on the stand beside her bed.  The attorney the couple had hired for her had read them and assured her all was in order.  She wrapped her son in the soft, expensive blanket they had brought then turned and placed him in the waiting mother’s arms.  Quickly she picked up the pen and with a shaking hand signed her name.

     They walked hurriedly to the door and disappeared down the hall.  She stuffed the corner of the pillow in her mouth to stifle the scream that tore at her heart and soul.  She had just shown the most unselfish love she could ever show her son.